Honour your masculine regardless of your gender

(Image credit Matheus Ferrero)

You may know of me that I am really passionate about women’s empowerment, pleasure, well-being, and health.

One might imagine that I’m a feminist.

I am.

I AM A FEMINIST

But does the words ‘feminism’ conjure up for you the idea of a vulva-owning man-hater?

That, I am not.

LIFE IS A BALANCE

I’m a great believer that in life there must be balance; light and dark, yin and yang, sun and moon, masculine and feminine. No one gender is better or worse than the other.

I’m also a great believer that everything is based around energy and in the school of thought that sits best with me, this masculine and feminine energy is present everywhere and in everything.

Each of us has both energies in residence, normally with one being prevalent in varying degrees.

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GENDER

A man can absolutely connect with his feminine energy and vice versa.

In all, but in particular romantic relationships, there will be feminine and masculine energy attracting to each other.

Again - no mention of gender! It’s perfectly natural for a same-sex couple to attract in this way.

In the UK, we are approaching Father’s Day (20th June) - did you know? You see, it doesn’t seem to get the same level of airtime as Mother’s Day.

MOTHER’S ARE VERY SPECIAL

Whilst I believe that we should go with kindness, respect, and love at all times, I personally hold great value in anniversaries and special occasions of all kinds. I also acknowledge that these marked occasions can sometimes bring discomfort or even emotional pain to people for a variety of different reasons.

— BRAD MELTZER

Recently I’ve received a few emails from companies asking if I want to opt-out of sensitive emails - one even with the title of “Would you prefer us not to email you about Father’s Day?”, so as not to remind me about Father’s Day.

🤦🏼‍♀️

Kind of felt a bit counter-productive, to be honest, and this has prompted me to be considering Father’s Day and what it means as a collective, for me at least.

WHAT IS YOUR EXPERIENCE OF FATHER’S DAY?

Perhaps you may no longer have your father Earth-side, or maybe you have a difficult relationship with him, maybe you never even knew him.

Perhaps you are a father yourself and you cherish your children. Maybe you experience a difficult relationship with your child or are in a blended family as a stepparent. Maybe you have experienced a marital separation that has also resulted in a separation from your children.

Perhaps you are a single parent; mother or father.

Perhaps your child is no longer with you, whether born, unborn, or longed for.

My darling, whatever your circumstances, I send you love and strength and joy and whatever the heck you need right now.

WHAT IS MY EXPERIENCE OF FATHER’S DAY?

My personal situation is that my own father is truly one of a kind and to him, I owe my curiosity, my love of learning and of playing devil’s advocate, and my naughty sense of humour. 😈

Me and my Daddy, Roslin Hotel, Southend-on-Sea UK Nov15

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My sons are lucky enough to have the most amazing Dad, my husband. I thank him for the sense of fun he brings to them, for their mathematical and lateral style of thinking, and also for their quick wit.

My husband and my incredible sons Belton House, Grantham UK, Dec19

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The man I have considered my father-in-law for the last twenty years, I thank for his steadfast consistency and dependability and his willingness to debate so many varied topics with me.

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Of course not fathers themselves, but I honour the other two main men in my life,

My eldest son for his sensitivity, his intense passion for his sense of right and wrong, for the amazing way he is able to conjure up solutions for fixing things with his brilliant engineer’s brain. (Even as a 3-year-old, he would take toys to pieces just to see how they worked. Many did not make it out alive.)

💙

My youngest son for his kindness, his huge heart and his ability to make my laugh out loud with his impressions and super-quick one-liners. This little guy and I have been going on Mummy & Tommy restaurant dates, always with his choice of attire being a shirt, tie and waistcoat so we can share a lasagne or a pizza.

💙

I know that I am a lucky girl.

I OFFER YOU THIS EXPERIENCE FOR FATHER’S DAY

I feel it is our duty as responsible human beings to pass on good, true, and honest values to the people we meet and the generations that come after us. Sadly, it is a school of thought that many male children are not taught these things from their fathers because, well, perhaps they weren’t taught themselves.

Goodness, it was only a few generations ago that most of the male population of the whole planet were fighting in wars (some still are 😢)! When they returned home, they were expected to carry on regardless of the stress and trauma they likely experienced.

You can read this blog from a couple of years ago where I talk about the physical effects of stress, or this post from more recently how the Coronavirus pandemic has proved so stressful for many.

That’s a whole other blog post topic for another day, but I honour the families so greatly affected by circumstances beyond their control.

Some qualities of masculine energy that I’m talking about can be considered as follows

Integrity - when actions match your words or intentions

inner strength

assertiveness

giving

purposeful

active

courage

I think you’ll agree that these are qualities that can be displayed by a person of any gender. Miguel Dean provides features a really beautiful infographic on his blog post ‘Balancing the Masculine and Feminine Within’ that you might enjoy.

Regardless of your circumstances, family situation, or even gender, I offer the idea to you that Father’s Day can be a celebration of so many wonderful masculine qualities.

Here’s the invitation - you can celebrate these qualities in another person and importantly in yourself, too.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this - perhaps you might like these articles as well?

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The handbook of positive advice for the newly single

I need a man, can you help?

Living my Tapas

If you’ve REALLY enjoyed reading this, perhaps you might like to celebrate with me and buy me a Virtual Coffee?